(Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls

Interior: A Dimly Lit College Dorm Room

Joseph took a sip from his coffee as he considered how to write the opening for his article.

"Hmmm," he thought, "How do I come up with a funny way to say 'Welcome back to this series where we rank every Battlecruiser card based on the number of decks they have on EDHREC' this week? Oh! I know. I'll do a 3rd person intro with a narrator. That would be funny!" 

And thus, Joseph constructed the intro. It was very funny.

210: Kuro, PitlordKuro, Pitlord: 545 Decks

(17 Decks as a Commander, 528 Decks in the 99)

I feel like if you get Kuro, PitlordKuro, Pitlord in play, you shouldn't have to pay the quadruple black upkeep cost for it to be worth the nine mana. It’s not K’rrik, Son of YawgmothK’rrik, Son of Yawgmoth broken, but it is a nine-mana build-your-own Plague WindPlague Wind where any creature that bothers you is basically dead, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

That's the base rate as a nine-mana sorcery. When you can keep Kuro around, or when you play him with lifegain effects, that's obviously absurd. Basically, no creature gets to exist anymore. That's the type of nonsense I enjoy having in the command zone. Kuro can be like a mono-black version of Selenia, Dark AngelSelenia, Dark Angel, where you fill your deck with Magus of the MirrorMagus of the Mirror and Profane TransfusionProfane Transfusion effects, all while having a nine-mana way to lock creatures out forever. I'm into the lols.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: In general, he's not a great reanimation target, but for decks like Kaalia of the VastKaalia of the Vast that can get him in play, or decks that can afford to hard cast him, it doesn't take much for him to say, "You win the game."

209: Crush of WurmsCrush of Wurms: 555 Decks

Okay, it's mostly Wurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrms on Crush of WurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmsCrush of Wurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrms's page, but it’s not all Wurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm. There are a couple of cool commanders here that can get some decent use out of this card. Ruxa, Patient ProfessorRuxa, Patient Professor is the primary one. Six 6/6s is hard to beat in that deck even if it does cost a million mana. For similar reasons, you have decks like Trostani, Selesnya's VoiceTrostani, Selesnya's Voice on the page to synergize with all the beef that Crush of WurmsCrush of Wurms generates.

There're also a few Jodah, Archmage EternalJodah, Archmage Eternal decks, and that’s a bit sketchier. This is in no way the best thing to cheat into play, but it is a pretty good spell to copy with things like ReiterateReiterate in a Spellslinger version of Jodah. I could imagine it in quite a few homes, cuz overall, it's more flexible than it looks.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: Again, though, it is mostly Wurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrms!

208: Distended MindbenderDistended Mindbender: 566 Decks

I wish Distended MindbenderDistended Mindbender did more. If there’s a color that can abuse a big expensive Emerge creature while also gaining value off the sacrifice synergies, it’s gotta be black. It's not just for Volrath the FallenVolrath the Fallen (is my subliminal messaging to get people to play Volrath working yet?). Your average black deck probably has a few expensive creatures, like Demon of Dark SchemesDemon of Dark Schemes, that you don't mind dying and buying back later to get value off a real good Emerge trigger.

And, to be fair, Distended MindbenderDistended Mindbender's trigger isn't bad. Stealing two cards from one player's hand can stifle that player pretty hard, especially if you have synergies with the discard like Tergrid, God of FrightTergrid, God of Fright or Nath of the Gilt-LeafNath of the Gilt-Leaf. There’s lots of synergy here for decks that want it.

But Gosh Goodie Gumdrops, why can't you do more, Distended MindbenderDistended Mindbender? It's fine, but single-target discard is never gonna make anyone jump for joy in a multiplayer format. It's certainly not something I'm going to go out of my way to find room for in a deck.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: It's good enough to see some more play, but not good enough to be a hardcore hidden gem like I want it to be.

207: Gate ColossusGate Colossus: 588 Decks

As someone who's ranked all the Gate cards before, I can tell you that Gate ColossusGate Colossus is definitely one of the weaker payoffs. It’s not awful! It'll often be a two- or three-mana 8/8, and that can't really be a bad card, but it’s not what the GuildgateGuildgate decks want to do.

Gates decks either like to win through Maze’s EndMaze’s End or Crackling PerimeterCrackling Perimeter, or through a ScapeshiftScapeshift into Field of the DeadField of the Dead if you wanna throw your theming completely out the window. None of those involve attacking with a single dorky creature. Blocking with Colossus is better, since it recurs itself, but you have to put it on top of your library, which means you give up drawing a more relevant card. If it went to hand, I’d give it the OK, but I don’t think it makes the cut as is.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: For those curious, the top tier of Gate cards is Circuitous RouteCircuitous Route, Guild SummitGuild Summit, Maze’s EndMaze’s End, and Crackling PerimeterCrackling Perimeter. Feel free to yell at me in the comments for this.

206: Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls: 601 Decks

I think Tergrid, God of FrightTergrid, God of Fright single-handedly killed any chance Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls had at being a fun card in EDH. The people who don't care about the reputation of Tergrid are probably not going to want to faff about with a weaker, three-color version of the card, while everyone else has collectively decided that Tergrid is pretty unfair to play against. People expect Tergrid into Rankle, Master of PranklesRankle, Master of Prankles, PoxPox, or Death CloudDeath Cloud. Now imagine telling those people, “Hey, how about we take Tergrid, ditch the discard bit, and add a way to stop the ability, but now make it work for any destroyed permanent, and also give it the ability to pair with JokulhaupsJokulhaups!” Yeah, that's much worse, but you can see why that might be a tough sell.

I had an interesting discussion with fellow EDHREC authors where someone asked, “How bad is Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls as the centerpiece of a deck?” For instance, if playing Demon’s HeraldDemon’s Herald and tons of other ways to find Prince as fast as possible, and trying to combo off with that ASAP, how much are you gonna be into that? Personally, I'm kinda torn on that question. On one hand, I would totally dig playing with that deck. Prince is way more open to interaction. It’s certainly not going to come down as fast as a Tergrid to lock the board out. You might eventually have a bonkers turn with Prince that would rival Tergrid's dominance, but that won't happen without a fight from your opponents, so I think there's some unique merit to this card.

On the other hand, Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls has all the same feel-bad moments as Tergrid, but amplified to 11. Prince catches any permanent that gets killed, which is incredibly constricting for enemies. It locks out basically any removal until your opponent gets rid of it. It’s the things people hate about Tergrid but for everything they own, and again, you now have two extra colors to play around with. Yeah, you might not be playing Prince to abuse it with ObliterateObliterate, but your opponents don't know that. So yeah, I’m guessing that despite the unique aspects here, most people are gonna boo this card off the table immediately.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: That said, I do hope a few people take inspiration from this article and build a Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls deck. Go for it. Maybe your playgroup will let you keep it longer than two games.

205: Dead DropDead Drop: 604 Decks

Assuming you’re on board with playing a derpy Delve card like Dead DropDead Drop, I have to imagine Sibsig MuckdraggersSibsig Muckdraggers and Necropolis FiendNecropolis Fiend are gonna be better than this. Single-target sacrifice is not good, even if you get two creatures, and especially when it costs four to six mana.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Also, how the heck are you gonna Dead DropDead Drop a Catacomb CrocodileCatacomb Crocodile? 

204: Sisters of Stone DeathSisters of Stone Death: 628 Decks

(169 Decks as a Commander, 459 Decks in the 99)

Let’s first acknowledge the primary (and kinda boring) use for Sisters of Stone DeathSisters of Stone Death, which is just Gorgon tribal. There’s technically also Damia, Sage of StoneDamia, Sage of Stone as a possible commander for that strategy, but every one of the other 19 Gorgons (real barn-stomper of a tribe here) is black or green, and Damia doesn’t really match the janky feel of the tribe. Sisters fits the general vibe of the tribe better, so I'm a little surprised to not see it on the EDHREC tribal page.

I wouldn't cry too much over that, though, because there are way cooler things this card can do. Sisters of Stone DeathSisters of Stone Death can technically enable all its synergies by itself. Provided you ramp enough, this can exile any creature on the board for three mana, and steal any creature for six mana. That’s battlecruiser Magic at its finest. Sure, it’s super fragile, but if it survives, it’s gonna wreck any board it comes across. I'd enjoy slamming this card into any random, derpy, Golgari battlecruiser deck.

Not only that, Sisters of Stone DeathSisters of Stone Death is a lot better if you build around their abilities a bit more! They still cost eight, so you have to ramp like heck to get them into play, and then ramp like heck again to activate these triggers, but if you can give them a LureLure ability, then it becomes much easier to eat any creature you please. They also really benefit from protection effects, like Daring FiendbonderDaring Fiendbonder, to keep them around on the turn you cast them. When you put the effort in, they can be pretty nutty on any board. You have to be playing in a creature-dense meta, but the payoff is real good.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: Far from a top-tier strategy by any means, but I’d like to see a few more of these decks in the wild.

203: Alpha BrawlAlpha Brawl: 631 Decks

Ever wanted to just really, really, really screw over one person in particular? Then Alpha BrawlAlpha Brawl is the card for you! Some might say that only targeting one player is a downside, since it only hurts one player. To them I say, "You don’t understand! That’s the entire point!" You're gonna extort your opponents to pay for your expensive sushi dinner or else they’re gonna get their board demolished! If that's your jam, this card is your friend.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I will give it a pass in those decks and Toralf, God of FuryToralf, God of Fury for the absolutely ludicrous potential. Anywhere else, you’re better off with Volcanic VisionVolcanic Vision. (By the way, play more Volcanic VisionVolcanic Vision!)

202: Vitalizing WindVitalizing Wind: 650 Decks

It's time to say goodbye to the other janky cycle from Prophecy until way, way later on in the list. Goodbye to the Winds! The rest of the world may not understand you, but you'll always hold a special place in my heart. Take solace in being infinitely better than the Avatars.

Anyway, Vitalizing WindVitalizing Wind is ironically probably not going to be the biggest OverrunOverrun effect you could play. That honor goes to Overwhelming StampedeOverwhelming Stampede, although Klothys’s DesignKlothys’s Design is a close personal second. Vitalizing WindVitalizing Wind doesn't pack the same potency as those cards, and that's not even considering stuff like Titanic UltimatumTitanic Ultimatum or Return of the WildspeakerReturn of the Wildspeaker, which don't pump as much but are way better cards. Not much of a reason to play [/el]Vitalizing Wind[/el], unfortunately.

Well, unless your name is RuxaRuxa. Yep, this fella is, once again, responsible for most of the play this here spell sees in EDH. Ruxa can’t do Overwhelming StampedeOverwhelming Stampede, or Pathbreaker IbexPathbreaker Ibex, or anything else that grants a keyword, so Vitalizing WindVitalizing Wind is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: It’s got one home, and that's about as much as cards from Prophecy can ask for.

201: BookwurmBookwurm: 677 Decks

I do love me a Pelakka WurmPelakka Wurm. It’s flashy enough to fit in a lot of decks, but tame enough to not put a huge target on my back. Blink decks love it, CloneClone decks like it, big creature decks love it, and graveyard decks love it. If you need to power down your deck a smidge, find a spot for a Pelakka WurmPelakka Wurm. It's still value, but not overbearing value.

Wait, what am I doing? Oh silly me, I’m supposed to be talking about BookwurmBookwurm. Okay, let me try again. Ahem.

BookwurmBookwurm is not as good as Pelakka WurmPelakka Wurm. Have you tried Pelakka WurmPelakka Wurm? It’s great.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: There're probably some weird decks that want to mill their entire library but don't wanna play Memory's JourneyMemory's Journey. Outside of those, though? Well, have you tried Pelakka WurmPelakka Wurm yet?

It Draws a Card, Y'all!

"Well," Joseph proclaimed, "due to some technical issues, I will be taking next week off, so to tide me over until then, let me know in the comments what you think. Is Prince of ThrallsPrince of Thralls cool enough to overcome the stigma? Do you have a sweet deck for Sisters of Stone DeathSisters of Stone Death? Let me know in the comments!"

And the reader did so, because the narrator has now put that fact into existence, and one can never disobey the narrator's cosmic powers. He will see you next article.

Joseph Megill

Joseph started playing in Theros Block but decided that the best way to play the game was to learn every single card and hope that would somehow make him good at Magic. It hasn't. He is a college student in Santa Fe, New Mexico and also enjoys reading and other games of all shapes and sizes.