(Luxior, Giada's GiftLuxior, Giada's Gift |Art by Volkan Baǵa)

The Sins of the Past Must Be Accounted For!

It has come to my attention that I forgot a mana rock in the 2022 round-up (like, not even forgot to put it in the data, just literally forgot to talk about it. This cannot stand. Every mana rock needs a write-up, so let's talk about it right now before anything else!

113: Noble's PurseNoble's Purse: 2,677 Decks

It's a better Sphere of the SunsSphere of the Suns.

It's still not ideal.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Good, glad I got that off my chest! Let's now talk about the Equipment that released in 2022.

Wait, Equipment? Oh right, shoot!

Equipment of 2022

• Eligible Sets: Innistrad, Crimson Vow, Crimson Vow Commander, Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty, Neon Dynasty Commander, Streets of New Capenna, New Capenna Commander, Commander Legends: Battle of Boulder's Gate, Dominaria United, Dominaria United Commander, Unfinity, Warhammer 40k Commander
• Previous Number of Equipment: 328
• New Additions from 2021: 59
• New Number of Equipment: 387

Did Wizards once again release way too much Equipment to feature in a regular year end round-up article? Yes, they did.

Have I been able to convince the editors to let me publish an article that is 10,000 words long? No, I have not.

Am I then going to do what I did last year and speed run through all the Equipment that I don't have much to say on? Yes, I am.

So let's do that.

All The Equipment I Didn't Have Space For 2: Electric Boogaloo

• 387: Pin CollectionPin Collection: 58 Decks; Underplayed: It's gotta be better than Healer's HeaddressHealer's Headdress.
• 367: Ceremonial GroundbreakerCeremonial Groundbreaker: 183 Decks; Just Right: Welcome, Citizen!
• 366: JackhammerJackhammer: 185 Decks; Just Right: Everybody freaked out when the DJ standthe DJ stand was spoiled, but nobody minds the literal jackhammer?
• 363: Vanquisher's AxeVanquisher's Axe: 193 Decks; Overplayed: It bad.
• 349: (Tie) Spiked RipsawSpiked Ripsaw: 275 Decks; Just Right: For some reason, the chainsaws don't bother me as much.
• 349: (Tie) Cement ShoesCement Shoes: 275 Decks; Overplayed: They took Stitcher's GraftStitcher's Graft and removed the one cool thing you could do with it.
• 338: Bride's GownBride's Gown: 336 Decks; Just Right: Good flavor pick, that's all.
• 337: Groom's FineryGroom's Finery: 338 Decks; Just Right: Holding a broom.
• 334: Quick-Draw DaggerQuick-Draw Dagger: 351 Decks; Just Right: It's a better Grifter's BladeGrifter's Blade.
• 326: Enormous Energy BladeEnormous Energy Blade: 414 Decks; Overplayed: It's not even Barbed BattlegearBarbed Battlegear.
• 309: Saddle of the CavalierSaddle of the Cavalier: 491 Decks; Overplayed: Meh.
• 296: Ninja's KunaiNinja's Kunai: 581 Decks; Just Right: Kinda cute in Tiana, Ship's CaretakerTiana, Ship's Caretaker.
• 288: Javelin of LightningJavelin of Lightning: 634 Decks; Overplayed: Doesn't even Lightning BoltLightning Bolt, 0/10.
• 280: Bronze CudgelsBronze Cudgels: 678 Decks; Just Right: Six mana for +6/+0? Ehhhhhhh, pass.
• 276: Arc SpitterArc Spitter: 693 Decks; Underplayed: Honestly, when Viridian LongbowViridian Longbow is still the best pinger option, there's probably a home for this with deathtouch commanders.
• 269: Chainflail CentipedeChainflail Centipede: 780 Decks; Just Right: We'll talk Reconfigure, generally, later.
• 254: Armguard FamiliarArmguard Familiar: 1,002 Decks; Just Right: But not now.
• 240: Webspinner CuffWebspinner Cuff: 1,205 Decks; Just Right: Or now.
• 239: Leech GauntletLeech Gauntlet: 1,227 Decks; Overplayed: Can you be patient for, like, two seconds?
• 234: Citizen's CrowbarCitizen's Crowbar: 1,434 Decks; Underplayed: This is the best Flayer HuskFlayer Husk they've done maybe ever?
• 223: Bronzeplate BoarBronzeplate Boar: 1,486 Decks; Overplayed: Uggggggggggggggh.
• 214: Simian SlingSimian Sling: 1,746 Decks; Underplayed: Okay fine, if you wanna play Reconfigure, play this one!

• 212: Trailblazer's TorchTrailblazer's Torch: 1,895 Decks; Underplayed: Not every initiative card can be White Plume AdventurerWhite Plume Adventurer. Also good with deathtouch.
• 208: Goggles of NightGoggles of Night: 1,957 Decks; Overplayed: I'm very mad at the color blue this year.
• 192: Ancestral KatanaAncestral Katana: 2,187 Decks; Just Right: Ooh, got any sausage?
• 185: Gilded PinionsGilded Pinions: 2,219 Decks; Overplayed: It's not even Cobbled WingsCobbled Wings.
• 183: Hero's HeirloomHero's Heirloom: 2,422 Decks; Overplayed: Don't get the play here. You can do better!
• 180: Inquisitorial RosetteInquisitorial Rosette: 2,154 Decks; Overplayed: It's Sigiled Sword of ValeronSigiled Sword of Valeron, but for Warriors.
• 179: Ogre-Head HelmOgre-Head Helm: 2,618 Decks; Overplayed: Reconfigure aside, this is not the best way to restock your hand even in red.
• 176: Gavel of the RighteousGavel of the Righteous: 2,697 Decks; Just Right: It's good in the counters decks!
• 173: Ghost LanternGhost Lantern: 2,790 Decks; Underplayed: IDK, sure?
• 171: Acquisition OctopusAcquisition Octopus: 2,850 Decks; Overplayed: I SAID I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT RECONFIGURE YET WILL YOU JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE?
• 166: Multiclass BaldricMulticlass Baldric: 2,983 Decks; Just Right: We like to party.
• 152: Greatsword of TyrGreatsword of Tyr: 3,419 Decks; Overplayed: It's Iroas of ArmorIroas of Armor again again again.
• 151: Cloak of the BatCloak of the Bat: 3,674 Decks; Overplayed: It's still not Cobbled WingsCobbled Wings.
• 142: Brass KnucklesBrass Knuckles: 4,069 Decks; Underplayed: Always up for cheap ways to give things double strike.
• 138: Blade of the OniBlade of the Oni: 4,273 Decks; Just Right: I actually like this one. Works well with other Equipment.
• 126: Eater of VirtueEater of Virtue: 4,715 Decks: Just Right: It’s BonespliterBonespliter with a bunch of extra text.
• 116: Scepter of CelebrationScepter of Celebration: 4,909 Decks: Underplayed: Like a build-your-own Tana, the BloodsowerTana, the Bloodsower. Neat!
• 99: Horn of ValhallaHorn of Valhalla: Underplayed 6,821 Decks; Slightly worse Secure the WastesSecure the Wastes + a Veteran's ArmamentsVeteran's Armaments seems decent.
• 88: Rabbit BatteryRabbit Battery: 8,171 Decks; Overplayed: This one is just Boots of SpeedBoots of Speed!
• 84: Two-Handed AxeTwo-Handed Axe: 8,579 Decks; Just Right: Double strike with a bonus here!
• 80: Komainu Battle ArmorKomainu Battle Armor: 9,161 Decks; Just Right: I prefer Disrupt DecorumDisrupt Decorum, honestly.
• 20: Lion SashLion Sash: 30,254 Decks; Just Right: And a white Scavenging OozeScavenging Ooze, because why not?

And now the fifteen or so Equipment I wanted to talk about this year. Apologies if I missed your favorite. There're way too many of these things!

277: Mystery KeyMystery Key: 630 Decks

I remain annoyed that they wanna put all these card draw Equipment in the color that does not need the help. Like, I get that it's on flavor, but the rest of the color pie still has to play Rogue's GlovesRogue's Gloves. In any case, Mystery KeyMystery Key actually seems really good. It's basically three mana to draw three in Equipment decks, or any deck with tons of evasive creatures. which is pretty good, and it's super good with other ways to recur it. I like it!

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: It's faster than Rogue's GlovesRogue's Gloves, anyway.

219: Strength-Testing HammerStrength-Testing Hammer: 1,645 Decks

Along similar lines here, Rogue's GlovesRogue's Gloves is two mana to equip, draws a card on damage, and gives no buff. Strength-Testing HammerStrength-Testing Hammer is three mana to equip, almost always draws a card since Voltron commanders are usually the biggest beef on board, and can give a pretty substantial buff half the time? Yeah, I'm kinda into this. So long as they refuse to give us good card draw Equipment, I'll take what I can get.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: I even kinda like it in IsshinIsshin.

216: Drach'NyenDrach'Nyen: 1,442 Decks

My first though with Drach'NyenDrach'Nyen was "that's a very cool name I have no idea how to pronounce. I should probably google how to say it."

My second though was "Oh, hey! Equipment DuplicantDuplicant. Cool!" And it is, except probably 60% of the advantage of DuplicantDuplicant was that it was colorless and a creature. Drach'NyenDrach'Nyen is neither of those. No colorless, mono-red, or mono-blue decks for this; no Feldon of the Third PathFeldon of the Third Path, Grenzo, Dungeon WardenGrenzo, Dungeon Warden, or Sneak AttackSneak Attack shenanigans, either.

Granted, the card is not devoid of synergy. You can still do things like Daretti, Scrap SavantDaretti, Scrap Savant with it to exile a thing every turn, and being an Equipment opens up some synergy for this in Voltron decks. But, I don't know, Voltron decks don't really wanna pay six mana for their value-based removal, do they? Artifact decks are surely fine enough with DuplicantDuplicant, yeah?

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Unless you wanna just play it because it's a really cool sword. I won't diss you for doing that.

189: Ceremonial KnifeCeremonial Knife: 2,299 Decks

I hear a little voice in my head saying "Prying BladePrying Blade!" when I look at Ceremonial KnifeCeremonial Knife, so I'm already paying attention to this card. Blood tokens are not quite as usable as Treasures or Clues, but they're still pretty good value for decks that want to make artifact tokens, like our dear friend Brudiclad, Telchor EngineerBrudiclad, Telchor Engineer or Meria, Scholar of AntiquityMeria, Scholar of Antiquity.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: All that plus Blood itself being harder to make than Treasure, and Ceremonial KnifeCeremonial Knife looks like a solid role-player.

172: Bone SabresBone Sabres: 2,845 Decks

Okay! This is, like, the limit of how good an Armory of IroasArmory of Iroas-style card needs to be for me to be interested. I'm not even a huge fan of Bone SabresBone Sabres, but it seems good if you get two attacks in, and passable with one. Fine, whatever! You can have this one.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Maybe I need to play Warhammer, but I have no idea how wielding a bunch of swords makes you more buff over a prolonged period.

161: Mask of the SchemerMask of the Schemer: 3,177 Decks

I could once again complain about a blue Equipment that draws cards, but Mask of the SchemerMask of the Schemer is just absurd. I play Ancient ExcavationAncient Excavation as a way to sculpt pretty absurd hands, and Mask absolutely gives me that vibe. Even if you put this on a 3/3, that's still draw three, discard three, and you probably get at least one counter on your friend. That's pretty good, and when you put this on a 10/10? Ooooh, I love it! I love it a lot!

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: Obviously, you only wanna play this if you have creatures that are evasive, but when you do, this is fantastic.

135: Pact WeaponPact Weapon: 4,124 Decks

Wow. Just a strictly better Murderer's AxeMurderer's Axe. The power creep, man.

Pact WeaponPact Weapon is not nor will it ever be Dark ConfidantDark Confidant. You play Confidant when your curve is a stalagmite placed at two mana as a way to draw cards early and often. Pact WeaponPact Weapon is not gonna draw you cards early, nor really very often. That's not the place for this.

And while the card is probably fine in Voltron decks, the place it really belongs is in the life payment decks: Selenia, Dark AngelSelenia, Dark Angel, Greven, Predator CaptainGreven, Predator Captain, Asmodeus the ArchfiendAsmodeus the Archfiend, things like that. These cards might play it for the first line of text alone. The card draw and life loss are delicious upside on this card, and the buff is just gravy.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Also, it's good in Volrath the FallenVolrath the Fallen. PS, why have you not built Volrath the FallenVolrath the Fallen yet?

132: Resurrection OrbResurrection Orb: 4,540 Decks

This, uh, doesn't seem good? I don't get it. Resurrection OrbResurrection Orb looks like a worse Darksteel PlateDarksteel Plate and Hammer of NazahnHammer of Nazahn? What's the upside here of playing Orb in particular? It's a stupid amount of mana to equip. It still doesn't get around exile or bounce removal. It's worse than indestructible since you lose the creature for the turn if someone kills it. Barring the precon it was printed it, I don't see the appeal here.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Pokeball, Gooooooo!

106: Tanuki TransplanterTanuki Transplanter: 5,991 Decks

Did you have "callback to the snake people, ala Sakiko, Mother of SummerSakiko, Mother of Summer" on the Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty bingo card? We got a callback to Sakiko before we got another card with Epic. I am slightly miffed.

Only slightly miffed, though, because this card is very fun. It's basically an Equipment version of Mark of SakikoMark of Sakiko, which is a weird card. It's only going in dedicated green combat decks, but when you find the Surrak, the Hunt CallerSurrak, the Hunt Caller deck that wants this specific card? Oh boy, it's real easy for it to add three, four, five mana. Sometimes more. It's like a Gilded LotusGilded Lotus on steroids.

Tanuki TransplanterTanuki Transplanter is basically that but as a Reconfigure creature, meaning that it's slower than Mark, but much more resilient to removal and attachable to bigger creatures. Sounds good to me. A whole new generation of players can experience the joy of attaching this to an Omnath, Locus of ManaOmnath, Locus of Mana.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: I was more of a Mario World than Mario Bros 3 guy, but I still 100% sign off on calling this a Tanuki Suit.

101: Robe of the ArchmagiRobe of the Archmagi: 6,579 Decks

Oh, goody! Another card draw Equipment for the color that could run TidingsTidings as an option and still probably be better off than Boros. Whoooooooooooooo.

There're two subsets of decks on Robe of the ArchmagiRobe of the Archmagi's page. There are the Equipment or Voltron decks that run this, and I was just complaining that they don't have much card draw, but at four mana to equip, I don't think this is what they want. I know some people are going to bring up Sigarda's AidSigarda's Aid, but if I'm ranking people out with Aid, it's with things like Colossus HammerColossus Hammer that kill people.

Then there are the Shamans, Warlocks, and Wizards that are populating this card's page. Your Alela, Artful ProvocateurAlela, Artful Provocateur, your Farideh, Devil's ChosenFarideh, Devil's Chosen, your Cecily, Haunted MageCecily, Haunted Mage. These I like better, but you gotta have evasion for it, so yay for Alela with flying, yay for Cecily because she always wants to get in, but boo for Burakos, Party LeaderBurakos, Party Leader since he's not gonna be quite as high on evasion.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Can we just get a better colorless card draw Equipment than Rogue's GlovesRogue's Gloves already?

85: Cloudsteel KirinCloudsteel Kirin: 8,361 Decks

So Reconfigure might have a bunch of extra text and give some creature stats, but by and large, we can go back to Equipment fundamentals to evaluate these cards.

Question for the class: why don't we play Angelic ArmamentsAngelic Armaments? If you answered, "Because the equip cost is ludicrous," congrats! You remembered the fundamentals. It's never in the casting cost that these mediocre Equipment get you. It's in the equip cost. That's what you're primarily spending up front, and it's what you're respending should you need to rebuild.

Most of the Reconfigure creatures have pretty mediocre equip costs for not much benefit. All the common ones are obvious, but even something like Acquisition OctopusAcquisition Octopus or Ogre-Head HelmOgre-Head Helm are still pretty mediocre Equipment for the mana you invest. The upside is that they're creatures to wear the Equipment when you don't have one, but if that's all you want, play Ancestral BladeAncestral Blade or Simian SlingSimian Sling, because those are cheap and are also back-up creatures.

Cloudsteel KirinCloudsteel Kirin is probably the most evident example because it's a whopping five mana to Reconfigure. That's absurd, especially for a thing that grants no buff to power or toughness. I know people are gonna reach for Ardenn, Intrepid ArchaeologistArdenn, Intrepid Archaeologist and friends, but even Ardenn has better things to spend time on than this. The only real case I can see for running this is if you wanna combo with it, like with Lich's MasteryLich's Mastery or something, but at that point, just run Platinum AngelPlatinum Angel and skip the rigamarole.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Reconfigure is cute, but not really for EDH. The reason Lion SashLion Sash is good is because it's a Scavenging OozeScavenging Ooze and has a relevant creature type, not because it's a Reconfigure card.

71: The Reaver CleaverThe Reaver Cleaver: 11,050 Decks

Hey, look! A super Goldvein PickGoldvein Pick.

Is The Reaver CleaverThe Reaver Cleaver good? I don't know, but I also don't really care. It makes any creature into a mini-Old GnawboneOld Gnawbone. You know that's gonna lead to some shenanigans!

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I probably could have snuck this in the Equipment roundups, but the card made me laugh.

67: Luxior, Giada's GiftLuxior, Giada's Gift: 11,452 Decks

Speaking of cards that make me laugh, way back in the eons of my planeswalker series, I mentioned a really silly combo you could do with Oko, the TricksterOko, the Trickster and MutateMutate where you could make him a creature and then protect him from being attacked while still getting all his loyalty abilities.

Well, now Luxior, Giada's GiftLuxior, Giada's Gift can do that with any 'walker. You know we're signing up for some shenanigans here. I would like my Ajani, Mentor of HeroesAjani, Mentor of Heroes to mentor itself. Sounds lovely! I would like a Progenitor MimicProgenitor Mimic copying an Ugin, the Spirit DragonUgin, the Spirit Dragon, yes indeed. I would like Nahiri, the LithomancerNahiri, the Lithomancer to kill someone with commander damage. This card is wonderful.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: All of this in my veins now.

33: Lizard BladesLizard Blades: 18,762 Decks

Here's one of the only Reconfigure dorks I like. Lizard BladesLizard Blades is one of the most efficient ways to give double strike available. It's more efficient than both FireshriekerFireshrieker and EmbercleaveEmbercleave. Being a creature gives the card its own batch of upsides and downsides, but the Equipment side of this is good enough, that I'm into it. This is a Voltron staple. Heck, I'd consider it a Commander staple.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: The only real limiter here is the red color identity, but that still gives it many homes.

18: The Reality ChipThe Reality Chip: 32,280 Decks

(1030 Decks as a Commander [Yes this can be a Commander], 33,933 Decks in the 99)

I think this year is mocking me.

I could get kinda persnickety about The Reality ChipThe Reality Chip being above both Lizard BladesLizard Blades and Lion SashLion Sash as the best Equipment of the year. I mean, artifact decks have tons of card draw, and this is fighting for one of this coveted slots at five mana, no less.

But I'll give it a pass. Equipment Future SightFuture Sight is going to be absolutely busted in any cheerios-style deck, and still quite good in any artifact deck that wants to play it. You'll flood out sometimes with it, but you younguns will learn quickly that the player with the Future SightFuture Sight often wins the game.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Plus, it's a Jellyfish, and I like jellyfish.

Jellyfish are the Most Adorable Freaks of Nature

I will let you get back to your Phyrexia: All Will Be One brewing now. Oh wait, first tell me what you think about these Equipment. Anything I didn't talk about that you wanna gush over? Anything in what I did talk about that I overrated? Post your thoughts down below! Until next week!

Joseph Megill

Joseph started playing in Theros Block but decided that the best way to play the game was to learn every single card and hope that would somehow make him good at Magic. It hasn't. He is a college student in Santa Fe, New Mexico and also enjoys reading and other games of all shapes and sizes.